Starting childcare can be a big transition for children and their grown-ups.
There are new people, new routines, new surroundings and, often, a new experience of saying goodbye. Some children run in ready to play. Others need more time to feel comfortable. And sometimes the same child who happily waved goodbye yesterday will cling tightly today.
According to our Childcare Educators, that’s completely normal.
“There will be days when your child comes in no problem, and other days where it is a difficult drop-off,” one educator explains. “This is completely to be expected.”
So what can families do to make those first days and weeks a little easier?
1. Talk about what will happen
Before childcare begins, talk positively about where your child is going, who they’ll see and what they might do there.
If possible, visit the centre and meet the educators beforehand. Knowing a few faces and having some idea of what to expect can make a new environment feel a little less unfamiliar.
2. Create a predictable goodbye
Our educators consistently recommend one thing: keep your goodbye simple, calm and consistent.
A hug, a reassuring message and a clear goodbye can help your child learn what to expect each day.
You might say:
‘I know saying goodbye is hard. You’re safe here, you’re going to have fun, and I’ll be back at the end of the day.’
Try not to say you’re leaving and then stay when your child becomes upset. And avoid apologizing for leaving. It can unintentionally suggest that childcare is something your child should feel worried about.
Most importantly: don’t sneak away, even if your child is happily playing.
When a parent suddenly disappears, it can make future separations more difficult. Saying goodbye and reliably returning later helps build trust.
3. Remember: crying at drop-off doesn’t mean they’re crying all day
This may be particularly important for the parent sitting in the parking lot wondering what is happening inside.
“Crying at drop-off doesn’t mean your child is unhappy the whole day,” one educator explains.
When a child is upset, educators stay close, acknowledge what they’re feeling and offer comfort:
‘You’re really missing Mom and Dad. It’s hard to say goodbye. We’re here for you, and they’ll come back later.’
Rather than telling a child to stop crying, educators let them know it’s okay to be sad and then help them find something engaging to do.
Often, children are happily playing and learning within a few minutes. If a child continues to struggle, educators will connect with the family and talk about whether a more gradual transition might help.
4. Bring a little bit of home
A familiar comfort item can help bridge the gap between home and childcare.
SSCS childcare programs welcome favourite blankets, stuffies and family photos that can offer a little extra reassurance while children are settling in.
5. Expect an adjustment period both at childcare and at home
Building relationships with educators and other children takes time. Some children may adjust within a week; for others, it may take a month or more. Educators also find that children attending four or five days a week often settle into their new routine more quickly than children attending only once or twice a week.
You may notice some changes at home, too.
Your child might be extra tired, have more tantrums or temporarily take a step backwards with something they’d previously mastered, such as toileting. Lunch might come home barely touched because playing was simply more interesting than eating that day.
These changes can be part of adjusting to a busy new routine. Keep your educators in the loop about what you’re seeing at home — and ask what they’re noticing at childcare.
6. Remember that you and your child’s educators are a team
You know your child best. Sharing information about their routines, interests, comfort strategies and what’s happening at home can help educators understand what they need.
Likewise, educators can tell you what they’re seeing once you’ve left.
Regular communication can help everyone notice patterns, celebrate small victories and figure out together what will help your child feel safe and comfortable.
And if you’re worried after a tough goodbye? Check in. Your childcare team understands that the transition can be emotional for parents, too.
And for the parent crying in the car after drop-off…
Our educators want you to know two things:
You’re not the only parent going through this. And it does get easier.
As our childcare team put it simply:
“Everything will be alright.”
Starting childcare isn’t about your child feeling completely comfortable on day one. It’s about gradually building relationships, trust and a sense that this new place — and the people in it — are safe.
One goodbye, one reunion and one day at a time.